As told by- A Harmonium
Our little friend’s parents once decided to introduce their son to the finer arts, hence to the world of sophistication thereby channeling his immense but confused energy into a constructive territory. To teach him the intricacies of Hindustani classical music, they engaged the services of an unsuspecting music teacher. A Harmonium and a set of Tabla[a percussion instrument] was also bought. On seeing these brand new instruments, our friend, who had been quite averse to the idea of any improvement in, what he considered his perfect personality, actually became quite enthusiastic. He tried his hand at both thereby making a most unmusical ruckus, forcing his mother to question the wisdom of her decision. Finally, she had no option but to hide the instruments to save herself from going deaf.
“In fact all the resident rats were so frightened by the noise that they ran out of their burrows in panic making Purja’s mom hysterical. She climbed up a dinning table while children and the household staff chased the rats out of the house. She was totally averse to anything resembling a rat.” Remembered an amused Tabla, “But let me not disturb you. Please continue.”
Next evening, our friend actually took care with his appearance. Some Brylcreem on the hair and the face resulted in an instant overall shiny appearance. The dirty hands were washed and wiped on the shirt- sleeve. The sleeves bore testimony in the form of muddy imprints. On Gira’s advice he splashed a generous amount of dad’s after- shave on his neck to boast confidence.
“Don’t let her bully you. These teachers have to be trained properly or else they become bossy. Here, this after- shave will throw her off balance. Don’t be miserly! Use generously for better effect.” Gira advised young Purja. After all elder cousins do have a serious responsibility of protecting their younger cousins.
Purja nodded in agreement as he splashed the contents on his cloths too. He was ready. Arrival of the music teacher made our friend somewhat nervous but he walked into the room with an assumed air of superiority. He did not want the teacher to have an upper hand, after all the initial impression would set the tone for future interaction he felt. He clearly wanted a superior place.
After the traditional prayer and offering of sweets, the music lessons began. The Harmonium was placed in front of our friend. The teacher then taught him to play the key of the first of the seven notes. Every thing went well till she taught him to sing the same. What happened next would never be forgotten by all those present that day. The impact of the note through Purja’s vocal cords was so dramatic that the teacher almost swallowed her tongue. She was stunned out of her wits. It sounded as if an obstinate pig was being dragged. Purja’s mother who had been present to encourage her son in his endeavor towards sophistication, looked apologetically at the teacher. She was speechless. And the rats called an urgent meeting. It was injurious to health to live here now, they all felt. Only the children were happy. The entertainment to this degree was rare. They could not stop giggling in spite of, repeated reprimands by Purja’s mother. Finally they were banished from the room. But, as we all know, it was impossible to keep this enterprising lot away from anything remotely exciting. They sneaked in behind the sofa, next to the door.
After few traumatic moments, having recovered slightly from this violent assault on her senses, with beads of sweat clearly visible on her forehead, the brave teacher sang the note yet again. She didn’t know what else to do. She had taught many students and was trained not to give up easily. Purja, somewhat encouraged by, what in his opinion was a sterling first performance, let out a full- throated sound much louder than before.
“I say sound because I am unable to describe it completely. It was unearthly and the impact, truly profound as even time stood, paralyzed, not knowing what it had done to deserve this. It sounded as if a much fatter and even more obstinate pig than before was being dragged. And then, the space behind the sofa burst out laughing, the rat babies wet their pants and the adult rats broke out in cold sweat. With great difficulty the teacher relocated her tongue that had somersaulted back into her throat while she held her hands together to stop them from shaking. Her senses had gone to war with her brain and for a while she was quite unsettled. Finally the thought of a hefty paycheck jolted her out of her stupor. She thought hard weighing the risks. Finally after hurried moments of serious contemplation, she asked, by now beaming Purja to start by learning to play the music score first. This quick thinking saved her from going tone deaf for ever.” The Harmonium paused, giving himself and everyone else time to catch the breath between uncontrolled bouts of laughter.
The Tabla nodded, taking a cue from a very breathless Harmonium. It concluded the story. “As for our friend who learnt to play his very own first notes on the harmonium, there was a great sense of achievement. He was sure his singing was so perfect that the music teacher didn’t think he needed any teaching in that department. As for playing, well, he was doubly sure that he would master the whole scale in no time. Purja visualized himself on the stage playing the whole scale of seven notes on the harmonium, in front of very discerning audiences. His life was rocking as far as he was concerned. He had asserted his superiority. His mother was happy that he would be usefully occupied for a while giving her much needed respite. The teacher was happy that at least a month’s salary was assured. The rats were happy because the harmonium could not be anything, but musical. And last but not the least, the space behind the sofa was happy. It had not laughed so much for past few days.”
“In fact all the resident rats were so frightened by the noise that they ran out of their burrows in panic making Purja’s mom hysterical. She climbed up a dinning table while children and the household staff chased the rats out of the house. She was totally averse to anything resembling a rat.” Remembered an amused Tabla, “But let me not disturb you. Please continue.”
Next evening, our friend actually took care with his appearance. Some Brylcreem on the hair and the face resulted in an instant overall shiny appearance. The dirty hands were washed and wiped on the shirt- sleeve. The sleeves bore testimony in the form of muddy imprints. On Gira’s advice he splashed a generous amount of dad’s after- shave on his neck to boast confidence.
“Don’t let her bully you. These teachers have to be trained properly or else they become bossy. Here, this after- shave will throw her off balance. Don’t be miserly! Use generously for better effect.” Gira advised young Purja. After all elder cousins do have a serious responsibility of protecting their younger cousins.
Purja nodded in agreement as he splashed the contents on his cloths too. He was ready. Arrival of the music teacher made our friend somewhat nervous but he walked into the room with an assumed air of superiority. He did not want the teacher to have an upper hand, after all the initial impression would set the tone for future interaction he felt. He clearly wanted a superior place.
After the traditional prayer and offering of sweets, the music lessons began. The Harmonium was placed in front of our friend. The teacher then taught him to play the key of the first of the seven notes. Every thing went well till she taught him to sing the same. What happened next would never be forgotten by all those present that day. The impact of the note through Purja’s vocal cords was so dramatic that the teacher almost swallowed her tongue. She was stunned out of her wits. It sounded as if an obstinate pig was being dragged. Purja’s mother who had been present to encourage her son in his endeavor towards sophistication, looked apologetically at the teacher. She was speechless. And the rats called an urgent meeting. It was injurious to health to live here now, they all felt. Only the children were happy. The entertainment to this degree was rare. They could not stop giggling in spite of, repeated reprimands by Purja’s mother. Finally they were banished from the room. But, as we all know, it was impossible to keep this enterprising lot away from anything remotely exciting. They sneaked in behind the sofa, next to the door.
After few traumatic moments, having recovered slightly from this violent assault on her senses, with beads of sweat clearly visible on her forehead, the brave teacher sang the note yet again. She didn’t know what else to do. She had taught many students and was trained not to give up easily. Purja, somewhat encouraged by, what in his opinion was a sterling first performance, let out a full- throated sound much louder than before.
“I say sound because I am unable to describe it completely. It was unearthly and the impact, truly profound as even time stood, paralyzed, not knowing what it had done to deserve this. It sounded as if a much fatter and even more obstinate pig than before was being dragged. And then, the space behind the sofa burst out laughing, the rat babies wet their pants and the adult rats broke out in cold sweat. With great difficulty the teacher relocated her tongue that had somersaulted back into her throat while she held her hands together to stop them from shaking. Her senses had gone to war with her brain and for a while she was quite unsettled. Finally the thought of a hefty paycheck jolted her out of her stupor. She thought hard weighing the risks. Finally after hurried moments of serious contemplation, she asked, by now beaming Purja to start by learning to play the music score first. This quick thinking saved her from going tone deaf for ever.” The Harmonium paused, giving himself and everyone else time to catch the breath between uncontrolled bouts of laughter.
The Tabla nodded, taking a cue from a very breathless Harmonium. It concluded the story. “As for our friend who learnt to play his very own first notes on the harmonium, there was a great sense of achievement. He was sure his singing was so perfect that the music teacher didn’t think he needed any teaching in that department. As for playing, well, he was doubly sure that he would master the whole scale in no time. Purja visualized himself on the stage playing the whole scale of seven notes on the harmonium, in front of very discerning audiences. His life was rocking as far as he was concerned. He had asserted his superiority. His mother was happy that he would be usefully occupied for a while giving her much needed respite. The teacher was happy that at least a month’s salary was assured. The rats were happy because the harmonium could not be anything, but musical. And last but not the least, the space behind the sofa was happy. It had not laughed so much for past few days.”
ROFLMAO.....
ReplyDeleteWe are missing Gauri's illustrations